Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
