How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
