theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
