Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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