I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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