I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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