sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
