making cat noises will not fix the situation.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
