Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
