...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
