I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
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