this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
