Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
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How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
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In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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