Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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