i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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