Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
