I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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