Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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