I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My pussy is not your playground.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
