yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no you cant smoke seaweed
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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