You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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