i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
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