I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize