Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
