She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
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