this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
