Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
