I'll bet she douches with gravy.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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