Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
