I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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