I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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