That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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