I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
