Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
