her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
