you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
