wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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