So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF