bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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