Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
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its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
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I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.