when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize