Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
