i just wanna soil my oats bro
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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