No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize