Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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