Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm too high and old for this...
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
