so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
It's blow job season.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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