we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Randomize
