got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
