How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
