and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
