If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
so explain again why im purple
no
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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