Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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