so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
