last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
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