mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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