I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
