i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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